I'm a magazine publisher, automotive journalist, 36-years old and here I am, attempting to bum a ride off my father-in-law. You’d think someone that spends so much time around cars would be a bit more careful about keeping at least one ticking.
Naturally, he inquired about my daily driver first. I had to confess I yanked the ECU to get it reset, in preparation for a story. The company doing the work accidentally sent it back to me via ground-mail (even though I specified next day priority) -- so it’s “in the system.”
He didn’t seem to think that ripping my ECU out was a good idea, especially for a car I just bought last year. “How about that ‘Zero’ project, the silver Subaru you raced at Portland?” He pressed. I had to admit, that car’s motor --and most of the interior-- is currently sitting outside the car in a garage down in Portland.
“The Miata?”
“Motor torn apart in preparation for a new turbo kit,” I replied dryly.
“How about that really old rust-bucket, from the 70s, that little green Subaru?”
It was obvious I was beginning to appear less-and-less like a responsible family man, and more like a ruffian looking to take out as many cars as possible, just for the fun of it. As though some form of transportation had wronged me in a previous life and i was looking to get back at each and every four-wheeled-contraption that crossed my path.
“Oh, that?” I hesitated. “I blew the head-gasket last summer. Head needs to come off.”
After a long pause, he probed further. “You didn’t take Melissa’s car apart, too. Did you?”
No. That was true, my wife’s Mazda3 is still road-worthy. That was practically a vow she had me include in our wedding, “thou shalt not approach this woman's vehicle with intent to ‘improve’ it in any way, less thou shalt face much pain and suffering. If you agree, say ‘I do.’” More or less, I forget the exact words.
Here’s a tip for the would-be tuners out there. First, don’t disassemble the last working vehicle you own. It makes getting around a bit of a challenge from day-to-day. And, second, don’t ask your father-in-law to lend you his car when you do. It’s more embarrassment than it’s worth.
I have to admit right at the start that I’m a MINI fan. We bought my wife a MINI Cooper back in 2004 and it’s been an automotive love affair ever since. After a year of competing for the driver’s seat, I bought my own MINI Cooper S in 2005. We’re a MINI family and I’ve never had a car I loved as much. 
